5 Things Girls Are Tired Of Hearing

1. You don't know how to cook?

First off all middle aged woman who looks disgusted with my lack of cooking skills, it's 2017 and Seamless exists. Knowing how to cook won't get me far unless I A) Want to be a world renowned chef or B) WANT TO BE A WORLD RENOWNED CHEF! Potential employers won't be impressed with my killer frittata making skills or that I even know what a quiche is, they won't look at me and say "You didn't go to med school but your Fettuccine Alfredo is to die for! You're hired! We need you to perform an open heart surgery tomorrow." No! I may not know how to cook but I can Google "healthy restaurants near me" and that's pretty much the same thing.

2. Did your boyfriend say you could go?

Let's get one thing straight, you're my boyfriend NOT my father. I do not need permission to go out, see my friends, or your approval on which outfits I can and cannot wear. Yes, I will respect your feelings but I will not let you make decisions for me.

3. You can't because you're a girl.

Being a girl isn't a weakness, it doesn't and shouldn't automatically put us at a disadvantage. Oh, I can't take that man down in court? Watch me go Legally Blonde on his ass. I can't play soccer? Excuse me while I channel my inner Mia Hamm. Basketball is a man's sport? Boy please, don't make me dunk on your whole existence with the force of a thousand Lisa Leslie's. We can do anything ten times better than you and look fierce AF while doing it too.

4. Girls don't talk like that.

Fuck off, asshat! Oh,  I'm sorry, are those words not supposed to come out of my perfectly lined red lips? Would you rather me be seen and not heard? Here, why don't you show me where in the Constitution does it say that women need to speak and act a certain way. Couldn't find one, huh? Accept it, there are days when I'm going to get pissed off and tell you to eat a bag of dicks- not every word coming from my mouth is going to be sweet. I'm human and swear words are alluring, is that a crime?

5. You have to watch your figure.

There are people who are dying in this world and the thing you want me to worry about is my figure? So what if I gain a little extra weight, there are worst things in this world that can happen. A woman should not be judged solely on looks, her weight does not determine her value, and to comment on it is rude. Women are beautiful, regardless of their figure.