Breakups- The During

We've all heard this:

But no one tells you what happens if you break up. You lose a boyfriend and best friend, two birds have been killed with one stone. And that shit hurts.

Your confidant, your go-to, your partner in crime, your lover and healer, is gone. You feel lost, sad, and angry. Darkness clouds you, crying becomes second nature, and you start to wonder when will it ever end. There's a hole in your chest that nothing can fill. No amount of self-help books, quotes,  or Beyonce songs can make the pain go away. Your nights are spent sobbing, crying until you start to cough, eyes burning from rubbing them too much, eventually you bury your face in a pillow to muffle your pained crying. And this is how you fall asleep.

You wake up the next morning puffy eyed, stuffy nose, and empty. You try eating, but just as you raise the spoon to your lips it hits you- the memories. You cry into your breakfast, you cry on your way out the door, and you have a breakdown at work when a song that reminds you of him comes on. You're a fragile mess, a shell of what once was a human being, he left and took all of you with him. 

You don't know how to put yourself together because he was the one who helped pick up the pieces and mend you when something went wrong. He was the one who would wipe your tears away and tell you everything was going to be okay. But this time it's different. He caused the pain, he caused the hurt, you can't turn to your best friend because he was your best friend. Now comes the hard part, relying on yourself to pick up the broken pieces and put them together. 

It's not going to be easy, it's going to be hard and hurt like hell. You're going to have to detangle yourself from him- the memories, gifts, text messages, social media- everything. Grow through the pain. Take it day by day, do things that make you happy, pick up a new hobby, spend time with those who bring joy to your life. You are you, a wonderful human being who was whole before she met him. Reconnect with her, become a better version of who you used to be. The strong, independent, intelligent woman who will emerge from this negative situation cannot wait to meet you.