Entitled- believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
Entitled. That's how he felt after he had given me my first kiss. He felt he was "entitled to a blowjob" because he had "taken time out of his busy schedule" to kiss me underneath the high school staircase. While we were kissing he took my hand, placed it over his pants, and asked me if I would suck it for him. I told him no, pushed him away, and headed to my Italian class.
He then proceeded to text me paragraph after paragraph on how I wasted his time. He kept repeating how I should have given him a blowjob because he cut class to see me, his student council president title could have been taken away, and -here is the kicker- how lucky I was that he had chosen me out of all the girls who wanted him. I blocked him and told him to have a nice life.
For some reason, men believe if they take a girl out on a date she should give him a blowjob. (this applies to some men, not all) In what world does that make sense? Okay, we went out for a couple of drinks, you offered to pick up the tab, you offered to drive me home, and now to reciprocate I have to suck your dick? Fuck you! When did blowjobs become the new goodnight kiss?
What's worse, is when we refuse to give a BJ, we are immediately made to feel bad. Men become upset, call us offensive names, and some even try and force us to partake in the act (this is considered sexual assault and should be reported).
I went on a date once with an Italian soccer player who I believed was the sweetest guy in the world. He held doors open for me, pulled out my chair, made me laugh, picked up the tab, and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. After dinner we went back to his place for some drinks. He played a few of my favorite tracks, we danced to Spanish music, and that's when he leaned in to kiss me. He then unzipped his pants, asked me to get on my knees, and suck him down. I pushed him away and told him no. He got mad and said "So, you're just going to leave me here with my dick hanging out? You're such a bitch. I might as well take you home." Had Uber or Lyft been around during this time I would have taken an one home but because it was midnight and I didn't drive, I accepted the ride.
The drive home consisted of him listing off reasons as to why I should've gone done on him, how much of a bitch I was, and if I enjoyed being a prude. I blocked his number and never heard from him again. Fast forward 3 years later, he adds me on Snapchat, sends me a shirtless pic with a message that reads "Hey, remember me? Are you still a prude or are you ready to have some fun [winky face]" I didn't respond. Not worth my time.
Am I saying never give head? No! What men need to realize and understand is that blowjobs are acts done out of free will. A woman is not obligated to go down on you, nowhere in the dating handbook does it say you are entitled to one sexual favor every time you spend money on her, and, most importantly No means NO. You have no right to insult me, curse at me, or even yell at me because I do not give you head. My value does not decrease because I did not let you have your way with me. Just like men, we have freedom of choice, and our choosing not to give you oral is not something you have to like, but something you do have to respect. No ifs, ands, or buts.
